On May 4th, 2022- Beautiful Black Student, Arlana Miller, Committed Suicide, Leaving Open Suicide Note on Instagram

On May 4th, 2022, a beautiful young Black woman by the name of Arlana Miller wrote her final suicide note on instagram and then took her life. Her family panicked when they saw it, searched for her but to no avail. From what I understand, she was later found in a Mississippi River. In her note, which I will post in full below, she mentions water and peace… I write this with shaking hands, because this should have been known about and spread all over the place on May 4th, 2022.

While her instagram post has been removed, I feel it is important to share it. She shared it; she wanted these words to be heard. And she clearly wanted people to learn from what she went through and learn from what she felt was a hopeless position. Black suicide is rising, especially among children but not solely among children. And 19 years old is not what I consider to be an adult, either. She was under too much pressure, all of which it seems she felt she had to keep to herself.

And that is another reason posting the suicide note she wrote publicly is so vital, in my opinion. More attention needs to go into learning the signs of depression and other mental illnesses, more attention needs to be given to reenforcing the knowledge that it is okay to be depressed, and it is okay to reach out for help when you are anywhere close to the line of feeling suicidal.

There is no shame in mental illness except the stigma associated with it and the community maintaining a taboo outlook on speaking of anything related to mental health. It’s not only a white issue, clearly. She notes that she wishes her granddad was still alive to tell her it’s not worth it, that she is being “stupid”- but he had already passed on, and I suppose she felt she could go to no one else.

“I have been surrounded by people who may have honestly thought that I was okay, but I havn’t been okay for a while,”  

She also makes a request of others:

“To the people in my life I pray you learn to vocalize your feelings and get help always!!! I failed at that and I’m afraid it’s too late,”

Who is Arlana Mille?

She was a beautiful Black female attending Southern University and A&M College in Baton Rouge with a major in . a cheerleader and struggled with depression for along time…in her own words,

“May this day bring me peace. I have fought the urge since my early teenage years. I gave this life all the fight I had. To everyone who has entered my life, I’m so grateful and I can only imagine how this may find you. I have been surrounded by people who may have honestly thought that I was okay, but I haven’t been okay for a while.”

She adds further along something every single person needs to hear:

“I hope this teaches everyone to check on your “strong” friends, be present always! I’m contradicting myself but NEVER give up!!! I know that I’m letting a lot of people down by what I’m about to do, but truth is I have already let down so many people throughout my life and it just feels unbearable.”

I have no words to express the sadness I feel over yet another loss, a loss which could have been prevented. This is a common problem; silence and judgment from stigma related to feeling their emotions are not worth discussing, or, having no one to discuss them with.

What is more is that this happened on May 4th of this year. I found out about it by chance, why was this not all over twitter? Why is her death silent? Especially after posting a public suicide note. We all know why it is silent; and that is even more reason why I ask you to please share this…

Too many people are suffering in silence just as she was…especially in the Black community. Action needs to be taken, steps need to be made to help destigmatize mental illness and help prevent the increasing number of suicides…

And here is her heartbreaking farewell note, which she posted to instagram before taking her life.

To this beautiful young woman… I hope you have found peace, and I hope your new journey is beautiful and blesses you abundantly. I did not know you personally, but your words and story have left an impression on my heart so that I will never forget you. I am so sorry you found yourself feeling this was the only way, you are forever cherished and loved and missed. No one can take your place in this world; a part of the world is forever gone now and the world will be a little less bright without you in it.

Time To Talk About Mental Health in The Black Community; 12 Books By Black Authors Follow

Black mental health is not taken seriously enough; it is very discouraging and very frustrating but I am hoping the more the community discusses it, the more people will realize that;

1) no, mental health doesn’t make you crazy
2) no, mental illnesss(es) are not for white people only
3) sadly, the denial to talk about emotions & the lack of discussing mental health in the community among Black adults and especially children, is continuing to let suicide run rampant -especially among those whom are not adults.

All Black lives matter, regardless of age, but when we have children as young as 5 and older attempting -succeeding- in taking their lives due to the trauma of racism in America, and bullying at school more often than not. Here is but one story, that of a beautiful 9 year old Black little girl.

Or what about all the missing Black women and girls? Why is there no outrage over that?

It is hard to talk about, but we have legal killings by capital punishment killing the Black community, or stealing fathers from families, much of the time due to self defense, drugs (which the white community is not absent of, so no one has any right to look down on anyone) -drug offenders do not need prison but that is another article- and a multitude of other ‘crimes’ later -far too often too much later- found to be innocent of said crime by DNA testing, but it’s took late because they’ve already been executed by the government. Or released after 60 years of serving a sentence they were innocent for.

And it is as though it’s become so common place everyone just looks the other way. FUCK THAT!

Or the police, who are here to not serve and protect, who are feared by most and how can anyone question why? They do not just murder, I would like to add. The beatings and other cases I have worked on in the past, that I want to update regarding both the victim and the killer(s) or abuser(s), are far more sick than I think anyone understands. Working nationally over 10 years as legal aid and as a counselor to victims I have a lot of confidential incidents I cannot share but there are also no shortage of ones I can share, sadly.

We have gang crime, which, I believe in just another form of suicide, and will go into those details at another time. But it’s taken kids lives, along with the drugs implemented by the government, as they admit or you can dig deep enough yourself to find these truths, if you are willing…

Suicide and self destructive of any sort, be it drugs, alcohol, knives, guns, wreckless behaviors that would get most white teens therapy are ending the lives of those in the Black community.

I focus on the children a lot; but we need the adults to step up initially, I believe, and show these children it is okay to speak about their emotions; show them it is okay to be upset and hurt. We need to educate them more and prepare them… We also need to ensure Black women and men know that they can call on a friend or a family member and reach out when feeling depressed, suicidal or just “off” and know they won’t be judged.

Below are from BlackMentalHealth.com which I hope you will check out as well. For now, here are a few, 12 to be exact… I’ve read many of them, especially Black Pain, number 12 on the list, and highly suggest it…

It’s gonna take Black men and women to first accept mental illness, especially understand how NORMAL it is for the trauma that the American government, school systems and society has caused for hundreds of years! Racism is trauma; and children are being more and more traumatized with Black children under the age of 11 and suicide still steadily rising since the early 1990s.

Black children aren’t going to talk about their problems if they see the adults can’t talk about theirs or if no one tells them it’s okay. Suicide is preventable; mental health is vital and it also impacts the physical but that’s for another article.

Please, consider reading and learning for yourself, for your loved ones and for the kids… For the COMMUNITY. There are far too many methods of legal murder in this country; taking a life by ones own hand should be the easiest one to put an end to as much as possible, if only we are open about it…

Link to books HERE.

Black Suicide Is Hard To Talk About, But WE MUST! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/2774107

And this is not just in Maryland, and it is not just due to COVID related issues!

I will post more soon; but this is urgent.

Video-Black Mental Health Matters- Black Male Speaks Out & Talks About Mental Illness Project

This is a VERY IMPORTANT video…. I hope you will watch it; this Black man tells his story, he was diagnosed with Major Depression, Trauma, …. please, please help stop the stigma in the Black community…and please listen to this man who is so brave to get up and share his story…

There is no shame in mental illness. It usually stems from trauma, and it can lead to physical illnesses that can and do kill like heart disease, high blood pressure and more.

For now, please listen… Or check out his program, HERE, where he is teaching barbers to be mental health advocates as well as helping them to connect with therapists to assist these Black men who need some help, even further, he is seeking and working to help Black children and women; the family system, in the Black community… His projects and ideas are so on point; I hope you will listen…

And there is nothing but PRIDE in that.

Please, check him out.

New Video Up – Systematic Racism, Trauma, Children and APA Makes A Promise

The past few years I’ve been doing noting but studying, however, to convey and share that with anyone via blog or video was somehow too much. I am in a position in life that has left me lost, but I won’t go on about that. I have decided it’s time I do what I know I am here to do, and so…

There will be some changes to my YouTube page, and in the following video I cover that, I also talk about the American Psychiatric Association and their admission to systematic racism that cost us research which could have potentially helped saved Black children under the age of 10 who are attempting and also succeeding suicide.

They have made a pledge; the link is in the description in the video.

Thank you guys for staying, I hopefully am going to do better this time. YOUR FEED BACK HELPS; good or bad… Please feel free to message me, email me or comment. My email is noctem_aeternamx@yahoo.com

Here is to a new beginning…

Purpose Of This Page

I have to begin this by saying this will be a page for people to reference anytime they desire, simply by clicking “purpose of this page” which is located at the top right and also in the left side panel. I am posting it as a blog because I began this page in 2018 and after too many traumatic events happened, I had to withdraw from almost all aspects of the internet, in consistency anyway.

Now I am back and confident I am ready to begin what I’ve spent so many years working on. Below is the ‘mission’ of this page… Thank all of you who have stayed and been patient as I got lost and found myself once again.

There are so many issues to address I’ve decided to make separate websites for each main topic… The purpose of  this page is to, hopefully, alert people to the urgency of mental illness and mental health in the Black community, speak on different types of trauma, including why racism is trauma and what  poor mental health does to the body physically.

It is not anyone’s fault if they are struggling with mental illness. Racism in the Black community is a cause of a lot of other severe mental health and physical health related issues, too many of them fatal.

There is a great importance in not only accepting mental health but understanding it, and the genuine risk in increasing numbers of suicides, for example… And I want to make this clear, suicide at any age is horrific, but the number of Black children between the ages of 4-12 that are taking their own lives and/or attempting to take their own lives is unprecedented.

It’s no surprise medical research doesn’t have much on this growing problem. This is something I really want to focus on and expose. This number has been increasing over the past two decades silently. Children in this age group are usually not ones to consider suicide let alone act out on it. But they are.

We need to make it a priority to learn about mental illnesses, what causes it, what is sparking these children and what sparks adults, what role does racism play when you have additional stressors such as poverty or abuse or other in ones life and most importantly; what can we do about it.

The point of these posts is to share facts and stories of what is going on right now among adults and children as young as 5 years old. It is to take the worst situations going on with mental health, that which is scarcely spoken on. I hope it will open dialogue among people, help parents, teachers and other caregivers notice signs and symptoms in children and adolescents, but also in grown men and women, too.

Mental health is just as real as any physical ailment, and in too many situations it is proving to be just as fatal. In fact, mental illnesses have physical symptoms more often than not; sadly, most of them lead to dying to early.

The risk is real and the reality of lose of loved ones by their own hand is real. This is another reason  I believe the community needs to get that village mentality as well as we need to see more Black men and women rising up as professional psychologists and psychiatrists. Even if it is just someone in the community who is willing to be open about their struggle; someone for others to go to, someone people know they won’t be judged by…

I have was verbally ‘attacked’ by a white man when I previously said we need more Black therapists. He accused me of separatism. I am not a separatist at all, but as a survivor of many forms of abuse, I do not want a male therapist. It only makes sense to hear people within the community speak of not feeling comfortable with a white therapist.

If you cannot understand this that is your problem; and so let me state it again. The reasons many in the Black community don’t feel comfortable going to a more than likely white psychologist is understandable. One of these reasons;  white people do not typically understand, especially on a personal level, what it is to be Black in America. We need more Black psychologists and psychiatrists. I will be compiling a list for people to access of Black professionals to look into and/or contact. 

Finally, because this topic is very heavy with sadness, obviously, I want to make sure to balance it out with fact and real history. This will be posted originally on another blog which I will post a link to *here* when it is up and running, and I will reblog from it from time to time.

Learning and remembering true history outside of the negative is vital, especially for children. As a warning I will share the horrors of the past and the hidden glory of the past on my other page, for both need to be known. However, I will only be posting positive stories in history here, as I said, this is a very heavy topic.

MENTAL ILLNESS IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE ASHAMED OF; IT DOES NOT MAKE A PERSON CRAZY OR STUPID. Mental health has nothing to do with intelligence, just for the record.

I truly hope this website will serve to help even one person. Coming up soon I will have many resources and information I hope to aid in this current, silent crisis.

And because it is silent, let’s work at changing that and make it off the charts until self love and self acceptance has been achieved, along with the reality of Mental Health.

Every Day Mediation With RZA- Acknowledging Mental Well Being

Starting out on a positive note…

If ever anyone needed an extra ‘push’ to give meditation a try, this is a great reason to give it a try, at least in my opinion. From the Wu Tang comes “Everyday Meditation with the RZA” with hopes of getting more people in the Black community to recognize mental and emotional health and learn healthy ways to cope, via these short meditations.

Meditation is an ancient practice that show real results in people who participate. For more information on that, please click the following links to learn:

1) 7 ways meditation can help you reduce and manage stress
2) What Web MD says about meditation and the impact it has on stress
And a quote from link 2:

“Meditation is a simple technique that, if practiced for as few as 10 minutes each day, can help you control stress, decrease anxiety, improve cardiovascular health, and achieve a greater capacity for relaxation.” FURTHER ALONG, IT NOTES,
“The technique has gained acceptance by physicians and therapists worldwide as a means of relieving symptoms of conditions ranging from cancer to AIDS.”

SO with that in mind, please check out what is being created, or find another meditation source…

Check them out here. Or check the one -of many- below.

Mental Health: The Black Church — Mental Wealth

“So we accept and hide our emotional mental turmoil and go to church where it gets worse. We follow the rules of some self serving overbearing power hungry undercover sexual deviant. I speak flippantly and no not all of them are money hungry sexual de aunts but many are.  Church is big business these days, pastors have private jets, hareems of women, wear only designer.  The church in Jamaica has a congregation filled to the brim with designer clothes, I went to use th bath room, realized I should have taken a short plumbing course to use the facilities as the water tank was not filled up and it would not flush so I had to pour water in the toilet to flush it.  Yet the congregation look well and in their Prada, Gucci, Armani, even the tags hanging outside the clothes to demonstrate that they bought it new. “

 

Church, the Christian faith the black version of Christianity. I am talking about the clap hand dancing, singing pastor jumping church. Church was not a time to sit and listen, it is entertainment, audience participation, shouting, jumping. Followed close by with the chastisement the judgments the process of individuality No point in pretending I am […]

via Mental Health: The Black Church — Mental Wealth

BlackGirlPodcast Speaks on Mental Health AND Personality Disorders! Must Listen!

While waiting for the next post and video I felt it crucial to post this. Mental health is stigmatized enough, but personality disorders in particular are something that most people -regardless of what ‘color’ they are or where they come from- tend to want to ignore, sadly.

WHAT ARE PERSONALITY DISORDERS?

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) American Psychiatric Association (2013), personality disorders can be explained as follows:

” Personality is the way of thinking, feeling and behaving that makes a person different from other people. An individual’s personality is influenced by experiences, environment (surroundings, life situations) and inherited characteristics. A person’s personality typically stays the same over time. A personality disorder is a way of thinking, feeling and behaving that deviates from the expectations of the culture, causes distress or problems functioning, and lasts over time. “

Read more about personality disorders here.

As someone who suffers from trauma related mental health issues, I know how shaming it may feel to admit, let alone have. It is hard enough sharing myself! And the stigma against personality disorders as a whole is not helped by the misunderstanding and stereotyping especially. In particular, borderline personality disorder is widely misrepresented as an abusive, controlling group of people who are all about themselves but in reality that is a rarity and the exact opposite is true.

Hollywood has taken disorders, such as Borderline PD, and misrepresented what they actually are. The majority of professionals in the medical field agree, mental illnesses and suffering should not be thrown about so carelessly, nor used for entertainment. I have to agree.

Back to the point.

I was excited to see a podcast by the name of BlackGirlPodcast not only speaking out on mental health; but on personality disorders as well! This is the sort of advancement the mental health community, especially within the Black community, need. I highly suggest educating oneself on personality disorders, and remembering there is no shame in having any mental illness. Reaching out for help is not weak, though it is understandable why so many don’t or rather, can’t. But that’s for another post.

In the episode spoken of, BlackGirlPodcast speaks with New York City based psychiatrist, Dr. Jessica Clemons, not only on mental health care, but even more impressive is their inclusion of about personality disorders and Black Mental Health Awareness.

Listen to Podcast