Category Archives: We Need To Talk

Time To Talk About Mental Health in The Black Community; 12 Books By Black Authors Follow

Black mental health is not taken seriously enough; it is very discouraging and very frustrating but I am hoping the more the community discusses it, the more people will realize that;


1) no, mental health doesn’t make you crazy
2) no, mental illnesss(es) are not for white people only
3) sadly, the denial to talk about emotions & the lack of discussing mental health in the community among Black adults and especially children, is continuing to let suicide run rampant -especially among those whom are not adults.

All Black lives matter, regardless of age, but when we have children as young as 5 and older attempting -succeeding- in taking their lives due to the trauma of racism in America, and bullying at school more often than not. Here is but one story, that of a beautiful 9 year old Black little girl.

Or what about all the missing Black women and girls? Why is there no outrage over that?

It is hard to talk about, but we have legal killings by capital punishment killing the Black community, or stealing fathers from families, much of the time due to self defense, drugs (which the white community is not absent of, so no one has any right to look down on anyone) -drug offenders do not need prison but that is another article- and a multitude of other ‘crimes’ later -far too often too much later- found to be innocent of said crime by DNA testing, but it’s took late because they’ve already been executed by the government. Or released after 60 years of serving a sentence they were innocent for.

And it is as though it’s become so common place everyone just looks the other way. FUCK THAT!

Or the police, who are here to not serve and protect, who are feared by most and how can anyone question why? They do not just murder, I would like to add. The beatings and other cases I have worked on in the past, that I want to update regarding both the victim and the killer(s) or abuser(s), are far more sick than I think anyone understands. Working nationally over 10 years as legal aid and as a counselor to victims I have a lot of confidential incidents I cannot share but there are also no shortage of ones I can share, sadly.

We have gang crime, which, I believe in just another form of suicide, and will go into those details at another time. But it’s taken kids lives, along with the drugs implemented by the government, as they admit or you can dig deep enough yourself to find these truths, if you are willing…

Suicide and self destructive of any sort, be it drugs, alcohol, knives, guns, wreckless behaviors that would get most white teens therapy are ending the lives of those in the Black community.

I focus on the children a lot; but we need the adults to step up initially, I believe, and show these children it is okay to speak about their emotions; show them it is okay to be upset and hurt. We need to educate them more and prepare them… We also need to ensure Black women and men know that they can call on a friend or a family member and reach out when feeling depressed, suicidal or just “off” and know they won’t be judged.

Below are from BlackMentalHealth.com which I hope you will check out as well. For now, here are a few, 12 to be exact… I’ve read many of them, especially Black Pain, number 12 on the list, and highly suggest it…

It’s gonna take Black men and women to first accept mental illness, especially understand how NORMAL it is for the trauma that the American government, school systems and society has caused for hundreds of years! Racism is trauma; and children are being more and more traumatized with Black children under the age of 11 and suicide still steadily rising since the early 1990s.

Black children aren’t going to talk about their problems if they see the adults can’t talk about theirs or if no one tells them it’s okay. Suicide is preventable; mental health is vital and it also impacts the physical but that’s for another article.

Please, consider reading and learning for yourself, for your loved ones and for the kids… For the COMMUNITY. There are far too many methods of legal murder in this country; taking a life by ones own hand should be the easiest one to put an end to as much as possible, if only we are open about it…

Link to books HERE.

Part 1 and 2: 72 Year Old Black Woman Found Hanging- Then She Vanishes…

This woman has virtually been removed from any and all methods people, including myself, are using to try and find and understand who did this vicious crime…and why the cops are covering it up.

I initially made this video of information about the case

Then I waited. I heard back from people who know people or are in the area. None of them knew about this. This (above) is where she was found.

So I did my first live stream; one of many to come. I will have a more professional setup in the future but until then, here is the updated information I have since that first video, discussion on what happened, and just as I begin to go into the deeper evidence… my pc froze and my internet -just on that pc- died. Here is that stream:

I will be back with the information, more organized and with my professional mic either Saturday or Monday, depending on when it arrives. I may be on before that with gaming headset to talk or I may do a study stream…but we will be back on this topic of lynchings in modern America and also, we will be acting to find out who this woman is and what else they can tell us.

Please, subscribe…

Black, Missing, Ignored- The Current Situation

For anyone wanting to help in any way the Black women and children missing in America, going unnoticed by the media and government, there is an organization called Black & Missing. You can find this site by clicking here. It has profiles of the missing women, as well as a place to donate, offer anonymous tips, report a missing persons, get updates and more…

Additionally, coming up May 22, 2022 is a run/walk fundraiser to help this extremely important organisation. That website is here.

Please see below for links and details…

The ‘Hope Without Boundaries’ 5K Run/Walk is a fundraiser for the Black & Missing Foundation, Inc whose mission is to bring awareness to missing persons of color, provide vital resources and tools to missing person’s families and friends and to educate the minority community on personal safety. Proceeds from the event will go towards: funding for families of the missing, flyer distribution, financial support, victim recovery, and burial service assistance.

“The number of persons of color missing here in the Washington DC Metropolitan Area and around the country is alarming. We are holding this inspiring, family-friendly 5K to bring more attention to the countless number of missing children, parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, and friends who might otherwise be overlooked.”  – Co-Founders, Natalie Wilson & Derrica Wilson

Senate bill 825 in Wisconsin courts there is a proposed bill regarding these missing women. That we are just now seeing a bill come out for this issue is atrocious. That it isn’t even a federal bill,…. leaves me so enraged I am speechless. You can read the proposed bill here from the Wisconsin government website.

There is another organization that actively tweets missing Black men, women and children. Please follow them at https://twitter.com/Black_Missing

Anyone with other resources please comment and I’ll approve it, and add to this list… Thank you guys.

I also hope my video made sense. I am trying to make them more focused and not let my emotions get the best of me. I hope I am doing that.

Short Video Regarding a Racist White Woman & White Privilege

I am absolutely enraged…. I made this video for twitter, it is what I think will be the intro to a longer video in the very near future, given I don’t think anyone is going to learn from what I say, but let’s hope I am wrong.

If you are a white person and truly are trying to understand, respect to you. If you are a white person who doesn’t understand because you aren’t racist (which by default, um, means, yeah.. you are) then I hope you will open you’re mind and try to better yourself, so you can help stop this horror.

New Video Up – Systematic Racism, Trauma, Children and APA Makes A Promise

The past few years I’ve been doing noting but studying, however, to convey and share that with anyone via blog or video was somehow too much. I am in a position in life that has left me lost, but I won’t go on about that. I have decided it’s time I do what I know I am here to do, and so…

There will be some changes to my YouTube page, and in the following video I cover that, I also talk about the American Psychiatric Association and their admission to systematic racism that cost us research which could have potentially helped saved Black children under the age of 10 who are attempting and also succeeding suicide.

They have made a pledge; the link is in the description in the video.

Thank you guys for staying, I hopefully am going to do better this time. YOUR FEED BACK HELPS; good or bad… Please feel free to message me, email me or comment. My email is noctem_aeternamx@yahoo.com

Here is to a new beginning…

The Tragic Disappearance & Murder Gabby Petito Is An Opportunity To Improve Lives…

First, to those who will try to contact me disputing this, for one send me factual evidence that is reliable and I’ll look at it and share that I did not know what was going on in regards to racism in America. I’m serious; if you think you got something, I’d love to disprove you.

But before I begin, let me hopefully deter a few of the defensive white people, victims are only us, crowd, with disclaimer:
In no way am I sayiNG the murder of Gabby Petito is acceptable or that she doesn’t matter. No one deserves what she received. HOWEVER, it does piss me off GREATLY to know if she were not white, blonde and blue eyed, she would not have gotten the attention her case is receiving. No. She would have received at best local media attention.

Fact. Don’t agree? Let’s move on from her case and focus on stats real fast, then I’ll be posting a video that is 4 years old which I made on this very same topic.

What’s distressing is it sounds like I could have very easily recorded this video today, based on the meaning of the video -which is- why is nothing being done about Black women, girls, CHILDREN who are going missing at alarming rates? And, nothing of real change has happened despite empty promises. ?

Four years later, here I am…still. And now, here is the video which sadly, is still applicable today.

Video Link

Four years later, I post that video to see before the post continues, as she all of this is critical…, especially with evidence to support lack of … any racism or treatment, that I’m aware of.

If you are saying what I have to say is untrue, think about this….This was a first to me; they speak on this issue and it’s a recent video of the racism involved.

When was the last time you have seen on national television, especially for months let alone years, a Black missing persons case; male or female; adult or child?

To try and make this even more clear. Think about the very sad and horrific murder of Laci Peterson. It took over a year to find her body and after that Scott Peterson went on trial in 2004; still just as big of in the media and news. Hell, recently I saw an article regarding him and his legal status.

I learned about the current woman found murdered from someone I know talking about it . Suddenly, I began seeing it everywhere; and it upset me, no, upsets me. All women deserve equality but it’s clearly not given when they bring on television these cases… common sense speaks as to why.

Any missing persons case is tragic to read, it has to be, as does the murder and rape reports that conclude too many cases. Those that are found; and that sounds so heartless to word it like that, I’m choking on tears as I type, but I am wording it that way because it DOES hurt to hear, THAT is reality.

As of this writing, 64,000-75,000 Black women and girls are missing. Do you think they all are getting the same help that we see in other cases? Numbers and women, men, families also confirm, that no; that is absurd thinking.

Being even more real, you may think I’m cold, I’m not; again, I do feel sad for anyone in these situations… ESPECIALLY THE ONES THAT ARE SILENCED AND UNSEEN. If that makes me cold, if hating the abuse of white privilege that exists even in missing persons cases, murders, rapes, etc… Then I’m proud to be ANYTHING other than who the people are that read this & don’t care.

It is even more outrageous that race is such a decisive factor in who it is that gets a national podium for loved ones to speak on and for citizens to try and assist in locating and helping bring these women home, one way or another.

Disagree? Please comment and show me where these cases are if these women are getting equal treatment by anyone; the media, police, the COMMUNITY, civil rights activists I am sure do speak on it but that poses another question; why haven’t people made this a national problem?

I know I’ll get a white person commenting to tell me that thousands of white women don’t get the same attention.

So, let me answer the questions I have heard over and over again when I am comparing the privileges of white people with the horrific reality of people who do not have white skin ( it seriously makes my blood race; no one should have any privileges, until we ALL DO!!😡 not to mention the STUPIDITY in skin color being a determining factor in treatment of daily life, treatment all kinds!

Even the simple equal treatment towards, help and attention to, that whites get is ignored!? These people … if that is what they are, truly cause a disgustingly sick energy of hate; they are the bane to society & equality, among much more.

These advantages should be a a basic human right, to all, not a privilege!

BUT IT IS NOT FOR ALL and denying this sick fact makes it’s existence grow. Sadly it seems most of white people not only deny this privilege to be real but abuse it. I’ll move on or I’ll never have this finished, perhaps a post for another time.

So again: white people are going to say to me:

I’m being racist or crazy to say this especially when the case is going on because white people are treated badly and losing ‘their rights’ *eyes roll* so the main comment I’m going to hear about this is:

Well, thousands of white women don’t get the same attention, either, so how can it be racist? Durrrr.

I normally reply with a “no shit,” and shake my head, then proceed to answer in the following way.

You are right, yes, that is true. Most women AS A GROUP do not get the attention like the ones that have and are right now or in the past.

There are many ways we could go with the answer as to why racism is at hand here, but to keep it simple for now….

When you look at total population of women in America, then, look at how many of these women are of the skin tone “Black” and how many women in America are white…

Statistically, this is astounding. Look at (image) the numbers for Black and “non Hispanic white”.

How can racism be denied at all in this, especially given the numbers make no sense. The number of how many missing are white, and how many missing are Black matched with each groups overall percentage in America, it’s so obvious I am not sure why it hasn’t changed…. No, I do know why. Sadly I am sure most of you do too.

Keeping those numbers for what they are, not letting people try and twist it around and say it only looks this way, but do the math and…

If white people currently were missing at the rate Black women are missing it would be national news itself. But it’s not the white people being ignored. I also don’t get the “white people must be victim” bs I get from white people on serious issues and sometimes even on NOT big issues. WTF? :\

But yes, most likely the vast majority if not all missing will not grant any one of them the same attention through sheer volume in the numbers of missing persons, for one.

Oh, I must add, however. IF hypothetically they did start doing this for more women… It’d be white women. And I have done too much research into American history, I have far more research that is evidence which would prove this tragic fact to be true than anyone needs. I have yet to see a shred for those who are against what I say.

Before I end this this, let me break this down in to bullet points & the latest statistics available.

  1. 1) Missing, white women do not always or even close to always get the media, nation or etc attention as we have seen with just the 2 examples, those being Laci Peterson & Gabby Peti.
  2. As it is put, “people of color” represent 45% of missing persons cases as of 2019, according to government stats.
  3. Black women, as of 2021, represent 12.9% of women in America. Hispanic women are 18.0% of the women in America. White women are at 60% of women in America. ALL TOGETHER as of 2019 women of color represented 20.3% total, of American women.
  4. I’d like to know how almost half of non-white missing women or girls makes up almost half, 45%, of women in America despite women of color in this country only account for 20.3% of America’s women….
    as opposed to the 60% population of women with white, “non Hispanicskin.

Please keep your eyes and ears open; these numbers will get twisted by racists, as they twist them and try to confuse people regarding why Black and Hispanic men represent such a high prison population, despite Black men making up only 14% of the U.S. population as of 2021.

Where’s The Attention For Beautiful Black 8 Yr Old Girl Killed By Police 6 Days Ago?!

[THERE IS A COMMUNITY MEETING BEING HELP SEPT 9TH, 2021, SEE THE END OF POST FOR DETAILS]

The silence surrounding the fatal police shooting of an 8 year old Black girl on the 3rd of this month reminds me of how hopeless I used to feel before social media. *Stops to inhale.* With that, I’m going to delete the rant I typed up. Let’s get this tragic information shared…That which we know of it so far.

Last Friday, on the 3rd of September in Delaware County, Pennsylvania, outside of Philadelphia, a beautiful little Black girl by the name of Fanta Bility, pictured above, was at a local football game with her mom and her 12 year old sister.

Apparently gun shots came out of no where, followed by the police blindly shooting back in the direction I assume they assumed the gun fire came from. In the process of this, little 8 year old Fanta Bility was shot in the chest; her sister wounded. Tragically, at the hospital beautiful Fanta Bility passed away.

Immediately the cops tried to say it was a drive by and those responsible were in custody. They had taken people into custody, but there were no charges pressed upon them. The District Attorney began investigating and very quickly after came back to report that there was a “high probability” it was indeed police bullets that killed her little girl and injured another (at least 4 were injured).

State Senator Anthony Williams and State Representative Regina Young, both residing over the districts in Philadelphia and Delaware counties, had planned a community meeting but to my understanding Hurricane Ida has caused them to rescheduled it.

As of right now, the public is invited to the school THIS FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 9TH, 2021. Below is the information on the community meeting, I hope any and all of you in this area or who can get to the area will attend and demand answers. Here is the information on the upcoming meeting for FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 9TH, STARTING AT 6PM!

If you go, please feel free to message or email me, I would love to hear from any and everyone that attends and wants to discuss what this meeting is like.

From 6-8 p.m. Friday, the public is invited to the Academy Park High School at 300 Calcon Hook Road in Sharon Hill for a community meeting. U.S. Rep. Mary Gay Scanlon, D-5, of Swarthmore, the Southeast Delco Superintendent Dr. Brenda Wynder and members of the Delaware County District Attorney’s Office, the Sharon Hill Police Department and Sharon Hill municipal leaders are expected to attend.

Disrupting the Miseducation of African American Youth

“Teach them about their marvelous history and watch what happens… Teach them and tell them, I tell them, your people have done wonderful things and that you too can do wonderful things. The moment they realize that their people have done something is the moment they realize that they can do something.”

This is a powerful, strong talk on the a tragic truth that can change the future. . . That can change and help the mental health of the children… Everyone needs to see this video. It’s amazing how obvious so much of what he says is yet, the lack of how often this happens is heart breaking.

Be part of the change. This is not “by chance” that these children can barely read, let alone want to learn… We need Black pride; we need a revolution even in the educational system…

We can all change the world, if we all try. The level of deprivation of knowledge, the lack of funding given to predominately Black communities school. This isn’t equality. It’s time to change; it’s time to make Black children proud of where they come from, just as they should be, and children of all color should be learning this as well because learning lies is brainwashing and heartbreaking.

We can all do something. What are you doing?

The Importance of TRUE Black History

The importance of Black history is crucial; the accuracy of this history is even more crucial. Black history should be given the same amount of time, depth and attention as white European history… This is obvious.

But the link between the lack of Black history and the predominance of mental health issues is far deeper than we are acknowledging. The power of our ancestors, of all the things that have been done before us, have been uninterrupted as the people untied and stood up against the hate. The power in the Black and African communities when united, within the community alone let alone in this world, needs to not only be remembered, but shared and celebrated; and emulate the strengths and finally get credit for the contributions made but never paid for by acknowledgment or money.

It’s time we start focusing more on history, real history, not only for our sake but for the children.

Mental Health: The Black Church — Mental Wealth

“So we accept and hide our emotional mental turmoil and go to church where it gets worse. We follow the rules of some self serving overbearing power hungry undercover sexual deviant. I speak flippantly and no not all of them are money hungry sexual de aunts but many are.  Church is big business these days, pastors have private jets, hareems of women, wear only designer.  The church in Jamaica has a congregation filled to the brim with designer clothes, I went to use th bath room, realized I should have taken a short plumbing course to use the facilities as the water tank was not filled up and it would not flush so I had to pour water in the toilet to flush it.  Yet the congregation look well and in their Prada, Gucci, Armani, even the tags hanging outside the clothes to demonstrate that they bought it new. “

 

Church, the Christian faith the black version of Christianity. I am talking about the clap hand dancing, singing pastor jumping church. Church was not a time to sit and listen, it is entertainment, audience participation, shouting, jumping. Followed close by with the chastisement the judgments the process of individuality No point in pretending I am […]

via Mental Health: The Black Church — Mental Wealth

Intervention is Key to Brain Development; So Why Are the Immensely Traumatized Not Receiving It?

yes

While this may not be a large reason Black children are seen taking their lives at such a high rate, it is impacting their mental health and it is time someone says something.

As neurobiological research shows, children’s very brain development can be altered by violence. This is why intervention is so vital; but what happens when intervention isn’t received, be it due to lack of access or due to disbelief in mental health; or perhaps it is so on going it isn’t even an after thought?

Do not get me wrong, the shootings at columbine and other school shooting are sad. But what about the kids who live in fear, day by day, because of shootings? I have been angry that no light has been shed on these children for a long time, and as I do my research regarding why Black children are taking their lives so early, it enrages me even more.

While I do agree that more Black therapists and psychologists are needed -because these children face what no white or any other ‘color’ can comprehend on a personal level- someone needs to be doing something. It’s not fair these kids are being alienated and shoved aside while these predominately white schools are making headlines.

And receiving the help they need. No matter the color trauma impacts the brain and the brains development which impacts children unless intervention is created be it with therapy or some other form of counseling.

It also needs to be known that expressing your emotions is not weak, and that mental health is real. Another common factor vital to helping children, teens and adults heal is removal of the tragedy that traumatized the child. In communities faced with immense fear, who can’t even trust the police which so many white people take for granted and then have the nerve to say there is no white privilege; I think this short but factual post gives a little insight into what, I believe, was planned.

The government wants to keep the community in disarray and they are doing it with neglect and internal conflict. Something needs to be done, for suicide, homicide and for the unification of us all. They cannot be allowed to win- we MUST stop buying into their twisted game.

On that note, I will have a video and written post up sometime today or tomorrow as this all keeps taking turns in every direction given the immense problems faced due to denial, ignoring and degrading; all of which are wrong and damaging youth and children, the future, alike.

BlackGirlPodcast Speaks on Mental Health AND Personality Disorders! Must Listen!

personality disorders mental health in the black community blackgirlpodcastWhile waiting for the next post and video I felt it crucial to post this. Mental health is stigmatized enough, but personality disorders in particular are something that most people -regardless of what ‘color’ they are or where they come from- tend to want to ignore, sadly.

WHAT ARE PERSONALITY DISORDERS?

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) American Psychiatric Association (2013), personality disorders can be explained as follows:

Personality is the way of thinking, feeling and behaving that makes a person different from other people. An individual’s personality is influenced by experiences, environment (surroundings, life situations) and inherited characteristics. A person’s personality typically stays the same over time. A personality disorder is a way of thinking, feeling and behaving that deviates from the expectations of the culture, causes distress or problems functioning, and lasts over time. “

Read more about personality disorders here.

As someone who suffers from trauma related mental health issues, I know how shaming it may feel to admit, let alone have. It is hard enough sharing myself! And the stigma against personality disorders as a whole is not helped by the misunderstanding and stereotyping especially. In particular, borderline personality disorder is widely misrepresented as an abusive, controlling group of people who are all about themselves but in reality that is a rarity and the exact opposite is true.

Hollywood has taken disorders, such as Borderline PD, and misrepresented what they actually are. The majority of professionals in the medical field agree, mental illnesses and suffering should not be thrown about so carelessly, nor used for entertainment. I have to agree.

Back to the point.

I was excited to see a podcast by the name of BlackGirlPodcast not only speaking out on mental health; but on personality disorders as well! This is the sort of advancement the mental health community, especially within the Black community, need. I highly suggest educating oneself on personality disorders, and remembering there is no shame in having any mental illness. Reaching out for help is not weak, though it is understandable why so many don’t or rather, can’t. But that’s for another post.

In the episode spoken of, BlackGirlPodcast speaks with New York City based psychiatrist, Dr. Jessica Clemons, not only on mental health care, but even more impressive is their inclusion of about personality disorders and Black Mental Health Awareness.

Listen to Podcast

 

 

Introduction Post- Mental Health Series- What Is Coming-

Screen Shot 2019-03-27 at 3.16.11 AM

I felt a need to write this introduction and give anyone who may be reading my upcoming posts an idea of what will be discussed… This post doesn’t hold the details I want to share but gives a small overview of what I will be sharing over the upcoming months.  I hope the introduction makes sense, if anyone has anything to add,  or any questions please, leave a comment or message me. P
lease note I will be covering the topic of Mental Health in the Black community in every aspect I’ve yet to come up with, but if you feel there is anything missing again, I please share.

It is important to know as a trigger warning that the upcoming posts will speak of topics such as suicide and mental health among all ages, including very young children. I will be sharing a few stories in detail and will put warnings on them also because I don’t want anyone triggered; on the contrary, -and I am sure you will- I hope everyone feels the disgust at this racist country and just how low it goes, I hope you will fell the sickness in the pit of your stomach and the rage in your veins as facts and information on mental health that has been ignored for far too long -especially suicide, and suicidal behaviors.

I will be discussing the current tragedy with the little children, children being 5- 12 years of age, first due to its intensity and rarity. Also I hope it will give reason for anyone who otherwise would not consider the very real concrete fact of mental illness, and be able to learn to embrace it, the mind is power… Just because a physical ailment isn’t held doesn’t lessen the severity or risk of death by any means.

My plan on doing this in sum is:

Posting this as a very brief introduction to let you guys know I haven’t backe dout, I just have been frustrated with compressing a topic that needs the opposite of compression. Splitting it into different posts should help with that. And these upcoming posts will consist of more detailed essays in relation to mental health, mental illness,  what it means and why it is not something to shun or be ashamed of.

Open dialogue is past due and I hope these posts can assist in finding a place of understanding or acceptance, for this has been shrugged off for far too long. It truly, truly is becoming an urgent epidemic and lives that could be saved if they only could speak out, are being lost for the inability, the “shame” and “embarrassment” – the “unmanly behavior” of speaking up and most importantly, speaking out, when you are struggling mentally.

Speaking from a psychological stand point, I will be discussing different types of trauma, what it does to the development of the human brain and the lasting impact it has when not addressed and that child worked with until they are able to move on. Kids, especially young, have an amazing resilience in them. Especially during the developmental stages. If trauma is stopped and proper care given -and the big one, the situation changed as well, a child can go on, more like than not, to live their lives without the trauma following them into adulthood and manifesting into a mental health crisis of any form.

With that, I will share what has been proven to work, but it will take the community to unify and for that we have to get this violence to stop. It is all the same source, just as Ta-Nehisi Coates talks about in Between the World and Me, I know it seems impossible; most of my loved ones think it a hopeless fight; but it isn’t. After this series, I will be posting facts, laws and policies formed on racism and still fueled by that same sick racist mentality. Knowledge is the key; the ancestors tell us that! Evil cannot last or win forever; it’s time is coming to an end = but we have to be aware, we must also take action… I admit I don’t know how to stop the violence, but there has to be a way… There HAS to be, it is not impossible.

And we start to create hope by working on figuring out what that exactly is we need to be doing to stop the insanity on the streets, and in the legal system. They don’t expect anyone to stand up against it; and for that reason it must be done.

A little bit more of things to come is a theory I want to share from a book I recently read. In fact, I last posted a review on that very book, Black Suicide. It’s a psychological theory of suicide by life style, in short, and I hope in some way it will open eyes and help everyone to aid in stopping the readiness to die in far too many young men and women.

I will be discussing the medical history of Black people in America and the cruel, unacceptable “treatments” forced upon innocent men, women and children- of course, this has an impact on how things are perceived today.

.What is really frustrating me is the repeated, “and we don’t know what the cause of this rise in suicide is”- it doesn’t take much brilliance to easily see the reasons in my opinion, which I will discuss in upcoming posts. And I truly beg  each and every reader to add their words to increase awareness, open communication and most importantly, help educate people on what sources there are for this relatively new research. [Research showed Black children and suicide to be a higher risk in the early 1990s. Not that it matters when it comes down to the facts, for those who want a stamp of validity on this topic, you have it now as finally, this research has been once again conducted, reviewed and confirmed as truth by JAMA and many other related American Medical Association (AMA) research journals.

As I have noted I will be sharing my research on how racism impacts the development and growth of Black children and youth. This research has taken me far beyond any realm I had before imagined I am sad to say. I want to share it with anyone willing to listen because racism, lack of family and denial of mental health care all are feeding a vicious, racist cycle.

I also believe it is important to explore the reasons, history, culture and other behind the taboo views of mental health within a great deal of the community. What can be done to stop, or help as much as possible, this tragic epidemic is my ultimate question and ideas will be shared however mine nor yours are any good unless first we can get across and grasp the fact that yes, mental illness is real and it does inflict its torment on people, all people are at risk for mental illness; be it something common as depression or more severe such as PTSD or personality disorders. There is no shame in this.

There is only shame in not being able to talk about it. In allowing trauma and illness to manifest in a people and expect them to deal with it, not speak on it, that is where the shame lies. That is where too many unwarranted deaths lie. That is where behavioral problems stem. Of all racial groups, I believe the Black community has an overwhelming amount of trauma to deal with daily that others don’t understand or know about.

The trauma of being targeted by those who are supposed to protect, by the government period and many other afflictions needs to be talked about. The place I believe we should start is with the children. It is here, with precious young, Black children research shows a peak in suicide, one that is only increasing. I’m talking about 4, 5 year olds taking their own life. This should be a national emergency, but it is not and that makes it even more important the people make sure to end the stigma, and open up about their own emotions, as well as learn how to help others; especially the children. 

 

 

Book Review: Between the World & Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

Between the World and MeBetween the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This is one of those rare books that grab you by the core of your soul, refusing to let go. So I will start our with…

Wow. Simply wow.

This book was so powerful I had to put it down at times, to let this reality sink in. This book is eloquently written in the fashion of a letter; preparing him for life as a Black man in the country his ancestors built, the slavery and racism still felt today, the history and culture denied, along with justice in the legal system. What is it like to live your life in fear?

I challenge everyone to read this book; but above all I call on anyone who is not Black to read and let the reality so foreign come over you. Walk in his shoes through his childhood and his lessons, his fears, his love and pains. But this book doesn’t stop with racism against Blacks by non-Blacks, but being also part memoir, he delves into his childhood. Gangs, fear, thick fear, trying to act fearless; looking back and seeing who was the most afraid of all. He takes us to Howard University, where he for the first time gets to experience what he calls, “Black Mecca” for all the different nationalities and cultures among the beautiful Black men and women he saw around him. Police brutality hits him personally, and the tone is felt through out all of the book. Fatherless and/or broken homes, drug dealers and those lurking with guns -be it the local gangs or the police- the death and trauma he had experienced he doesn’t want for his son. That much is clear and no good father would; so he speaks of all different memories, and the moments behind each where, despite the good and joy, the weight of “his body” was ever present.

By that same note, however, he also doesn’t want to give his son false hope or false comfort. So, like his grandparents did to him, during more recent and actually televised police brutalities and murders, he describes what it feels like to be a father that cannot make the world safe for his son, and his son, indeed will grow up in, and already lives in, a dangerous world where he has to consider things, at times life or death choices, simple choices; choices he is only being tested on due to the color of his skin… These burdens fall down upon the Black youth as well as Mr. Coates son, and though cynical with the world he wants so painfully badly to believe things will be okay; so painfully it made me cry.

At times his pain, the pain he felt for his child, the realities they both face -along with my loved ones and friends, along with countless people alive right now I don’t know and never will, they all have the same fear… And it’s not one that spreads itself equally among the people. This is a fear that has locked on, for damn well good reasons, to so many.

This heartbreaking reality of being at a ‘privilege’ was never something I didn’t both see and hate growing up; but hearing a man speak out on how it is to live the side my friends and others live, cuts me deep and the guilt I feel for having pigmentation I don’t even want is very painful. But what would be worse would be to turn away; to pretend it isn’t there. To not fight it but abuse it.

I do not believe a white person who has compassion and wants to understand can ever again deny the fact of double standards- I saw these growing up and hated it then as I do now. It hurts realizing because you have light skin you’re likely not to be shot, beat, harassed, have the cops called on you for your dog playfully runs up to a white woman (that was in the news today)- Blacks and whites have different social worries; I’m not sure what whites have to fear nor why they are in denial of white privilege; especially after reading this book. 

HIGHLY recommended!

All I can say is beyond mind blowing. Everyone needs to be required to read this.. I will write a better review later, I must go now, but please, GO GET THIS BOOK!

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Random page with random knowledge on it. He

 

!Black Suicide-Book Review!

This book is full of information and stories from the suicides survivors; families, friends, etc. It is FREE TO READ on Amazon Unlimited, but this is one I had to go ahead and buy. Too much knowledge packed in.
Highly Suggested!
Black Suicide: The Tragic Reality of America's Deadliest SecretBlack Suicide: The Tragic Reality of America’s Deadliest Secret by Alton R. Kirk

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

There are a few books that I believe need to be mandatory reading for anyone who is simply concerned for humanity, for the children, for mental health awareness. This book also will benefit anyone who is engaged in helping bring awareness to mental illness, for those who want and actively work to end the stigma towards mental illness and breaking the stigma there is towards it; especially within the Black community.

One thing Mr. Kirk speaks on is the different needs between the Black and white communities. This is no empty statement; he goes on to explain why this indication is true and afterwards, as sad as it is to me, he is right. I wish we lived in a world where color doesn’t matter in any community, but of course white people can’t understand the struggles, fears and worries Black people go through on a day to day basis; how, then, could the majority of white psychologists help other than show compassion and sorrow?

He goes out of his way to make a point that this is no mere book; and he proves that point with a break from the facts and information on what’s going on, and gives the floor to survivors of those who have taken their own lives. These people are brave, some of their family still so stuck in the stigmatism associated with mental health they don’t want others to know. Still, these people spoke out and it is there stories that turn this already tragic book into a reality; a reality that makes you want to take action, expose lies and help everyone realize there is nothing shaming, demeaning or anything else that would make a person less than a man due to struggling with mental health problems. It has nothing to do with manhood, strength or anything like that.

I also must add really quickly… I am so grateful he mentions that there is more than one type of suicide, and that is so very important to me for personal reasons. The different types of suicide he speaks out on include more than just the “conventional” (for lack of better phrasing) but also recklessness, dangerous behavior some people develop knowing they want to die. Putting oneself on the front line, so to speak, waiting for someone else to take their life. Instead of this we should be reaching out for one another, not taking another life.

It has to do with saving lives; and I hope if you are reading this review, no matter who you are, you will read this book and feel the same fire to help in any way possible to expose, remind and help make changes so the suicide rates will drop.

This is a necessary read for anyone concerned with the betterment and empowerment of humanity.

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This Can Save Lives And It’s One Simple Thing ALL Of Us CAN Do…

As I worked today one of the most heartbreaking pieces I’ve done in awhile, which says something given the type of sick, hate filled work I work to end. But children are innocent and helpless… Furthermore, I am not stupid; I, as do you, know why this isn’t state, national or international news.
(This first part of the series will be discussing in depth Black children & suicide, and looking into possible solutions. It is one of many in a series of videos and essays to come- this shall be posted on this page in approximately 24-48 hours
)

So as I was looking around her video popped up. It is short, and it could save a loved ones life- I beg you to watch it; I understand now that therapy needs to be more Black orientated…but this is a simple, basic technique to use on a loved person, and being human, having a soul and wanting to reach out are all natural, knowing no limitations.

 

Let me repeat that; this extremely easy approach is important for your loved one to have; again, it crosses all lines society has created; from gender, political, sexuality, nationality, financial, skin color or tone, age, disabilities.

Why does it cross this line? Because we are all of the same… I struggle with a severe mental illness(es) due to childhood traumas. Had I had someone when I was younger to listen to me and not judge, I may would have healed. I don’t know, and I am thankful for all I’ve been through.

Why? Without my battles, scars, hospital visits and such, what right would I have to speak out?

I know we all need different things, but one thing I believe most would agree which is so comforting to haven life is a non-judgmental person who does not interject with their personal feelings, opinions, views or something randomly off topic to make the person feel unheard. Mental health can get to a point of it being absolutely, utterly debilitating. 

And as I read more on the project I have in works, at all the suicides… it is so clear to me, more than ever, we have to find a way to not only educate children on how to react if you feel said way but we also need parenting classes for children who struggle. There are many other solutions, I believe and I am hopeful. 

Having someone to listen, without bias, without judgment and not only listen but empathize with the person; that may seem so basic and normal but it isn’t. And it is scary, but it also is life saving…

With the number of suicides all across America high, and those in the Black community as well, most worryingly amongst the ages 5-12… we need to take action fast, create community centers and other means of support… More on that soon, please do watch the following short video though, and if you don’t cry I am surprised 🙂 It’s short, and she discusses why it is important to just have someone there to …simply listen, nothing more nothing less.

Obama Speaks on Being a Real Man-Mental Health & Pride In Self

As I continue to work on my current project regarding racism and mental health, among Black men in particular, this, I believe, is a great piece. I agree with what he had to say as it is true…

Former President Barack Obama spoke Tuesday about how to “be a man” and the need to combat stereotypes of masculinity that “trap” young men, specifically young men of color.

“All of us have to recognize that being a man is first and foremost being a good human. That means being responsible, working hard, being kind, respectful, compassionate,” Obama said at a conference for his My Brother’s Keeper initiative in Oakland.

“The notion that somehow defining yourself as a man is dependent on, are you able to put somebody else down… able to dominate… that is an old view,” the former president added.

In conversation with NBA star Steph Curry, Obama spoke about the need to create spaces “where young men of color, and young men generally, don’t feel as if to be respected they have to act a certain way.”

“If you’re confident about your strength, you don’t need to show me by putting somebody else down,” Obama said. “Show me by lifting somebody else up.”

“I’ve just been mentored right there,” Curry responded.

At the start of his panel, Obama had introduced himself as “Michelle’s husband” and the Golden State Warriors player as “Ayesha’s husband.”

The men sat on a stage surrounded by two dozen young men of color. In the front rows of the amphitheater near Lake Merritt in Oakland, dozens more young adults, mostly boys and men of color, faced them, having traveled from places like Los Angeles; Yonkers, New York; and Nashville to be there.

The two-day gathering in Oakland was meant to mark five years since Obama started the My Brother’s Keeper initiative. The former president has described the group’s mission as working to break down barriers that too often leave boys and young men of color at a disadvantage.”

At Tuesday’s event, Obama also spoke about how racism plays a role in perpetuating toxic masculinity.

“Racism historically in this society sends a message that you are ‘less than,’” Obama said. “We feel we have to compensate by exaggerating stereotypical ways men are supposed to act. And that’s a trap.”

He added that much of the “violence and pain” communities suffer comes from men seeking respect, including through gun violence. “And that is a self-defeating model for being a man.”

Obama noted how cultural influences, like music, specifically hip-hop and rap, are often built around “talking about how I have more money than you, I can disrespect you.”

“Ironically, that shows the vulnerability you feel,” Obama said. “If you were very confident about your sexuality, you don’t have to have eight women around you twerking… you seem stressed that you gotta be acting that way.”

“I got one woman who I’m very happy with,” he added, as the audience erupted in applause.

Curry, in turn, spoke about the need for men to be “open about their feelings” and have space where they can do that. He said the locker room with his teammates allows him that.

To read the rest, please click here for the original post.